Reality Sort: Iteration 3

October 17, 2011

I haven’t posted in a while. Here are some links that are cool. Maybe this will break the ice and I can write something else later. I respond well to praise if you want to see more.

So hoverboards will be real soon.

Omnidirectional moment capturing devices are real now.

These guys blew my mind.

A judge decided that Americans have “no fundamental right to produce and consume food“.

Also: a really smart fish.


To Whom It May Concern

April 26, 2011

(The following is a letter written to the web form and “digital customer service” email address of The Dallas Morning News.)

To whom it may concern:

I came across a blog entry linking to an article on your site at:


The article was about Rick Perry and his decisions on the Todd Wilmingham case.

According to the blog I was reading, your article included the following snippet (and I know you’re busy but I would encourage you to read the following snippet as it is an intriguing bit of politics and has much potential as an area of debate regarding the modern perception of science and the morality of our elected officials):

“Governor Rick Perry today strenuously defended the execution of a Corsicana man whose conviction for killing his daughters in a house fire hinged on an arson finding that top experts call junk science.

‘I’m familiar with the latter-day supposed experts on the arson side of it,’ Perry said, making quotation marks with his fingers to underscore his skepticism.

‘Even without proof that the fire was arson, he added, the court records he reviewed before the execution of Cameron Todd Willingham in 2004 showed ‘clear and compelling, overwhelming evidence that he was in fact the murderer of his children.'”

If that interested you, Twimc, here is the Wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameron_Todd_Willingham

(Please do not consider this an endorsement of Wikipedia’s accuracy, as all sources should be checked and consideration made for the emotional content of the subject and recognition paid to the fact that any yahoo can make changes to it if they like.)

That said, personally I would like to read the full article that appeared in the Dallas Morning News (and learn who authored it) but regrettably your site reports that:

“The page you are looking for has moved or is no longer available. The site map below outlines the new site and its related RSS feeds. If you are unable to find what you’re looking for, please contact us for assistance: Contact Us

I attempted a few searches using your search feature but was unable to quickly locate this exact article. Since your web server could do no better than serving the generic message that accompanies any http 404 error generated by a web server, I was left with no choice but to follow the recommendation of the error message itself and click the Contact Us link, hopefully making contact with the Collective Ya’ll, but I’m guessing ya’ll is just one person for now. Hi.

Having strayed from the main thrust of my communication, I’ll get down to it. I am writing in request of a link to this article if it was “moved” (as your site informed me it may have been) or, if it is stored in the back of a dusty warehouse full of paper files no doubt necessitating the use of a tall wooden ladder with wheels and possibly an older gent with glasses and a stoop who has also no doubt “seen it all” at some point or another in his career as chronicler of events ranging back to the beginning of the newspaper (now known as DallasNews.com in its internet incarnation) when it was just a few lads with a rickety old printing press and a strong desire to get to the bottom of whatever it may be, then could you offer me some advice on how I could go from my current state of filling-out-a-web-form to a state of climbing-that-wooden-ladder-and-thumbing-through-the-ol’-files-myself? Any level of convenience is acceptable to me as I’d really like to get my hands on that article of yours.

Also, when I do find a copy of this article from The Dallas Morning News (my optimistic nature allows me to assume future success) could you point me toward a resource for how I should cite your material on my own site? I ask because normally I would just supply a link, but as the article itself may not exist on your servers, how can I accurately and consistently refer my readers to this news article? Did this article ever exist in print form? I wouldn’t want my readers to have to fill out this form to find out if I’m full of shit or not.

One note, if you know the answer to some of these questions, but not all, I will happily accept a declaration of ignorance on certain matters if it garners me a response more quickly on those issues of which you (whoever you may be) do have immediate knowledge.

Now that this email has revealed itself as a discarnate flowchart of problem-solving possibilities and if it should turn out that you find that your site is not in actuality hosting this article anymore at all whatsoever and if I do manage to receive the full text from dusty archives or whatnot, is it alright for me to post the full text on my own site, using my resources to persist it on the internet for posterity?

I realize that this query relies on so many independent variables including but perhaps not limited to the opinions of your staff of lawyers, web developers, database maintainers, configuration management departments, design experts or perhaps even ol’ James M. Moroney III himself (realitysort: Publisher and Chief Executive Officer of The Dallas Morning News). I imagine it will come down to the configuration management of your particular information infrastructure. Or perhaps to the men and women who decide how much care you give to supporting those web authors that linked to your site in the past (whom were no doubt assuming the permanence of the referred-to asset at The Dallas Morning News (winner of multiple Pulitzer Prizes by the way, one recently as 2010) but are now having their insights severed from the reputation and dependability of The Dallas Morning News (still adorned with the familiar flowing serifs of the august gothic newspaper title font that is now stubbornly whispering “The Dallas Morning News” from beneath the modern and streamlined dallasnews.com logo (complete with the soothing blues and reflective surfaces that appeal to the passive information consumer of this generation)). Or perhaps it will come down to the organizational willingness to indulge the requests of an internet consumer when it’s likely that it hasn’t made any money of me (realitysort: sic) if I haven’t clicked a link or viewed any ads on your site. Or perhaps it will come down to the employee whose job it is to read letters from the Contact Us queue (the contents of which, if we were in an age that still required a quill be placed to paper for a correspondence of this nature to take place perhaps would never have come into being if our culture encouraged brevity in more ways than a one hundred and forty character limit and schools that punish shorter attention spans both of which apparently have had no effect on preventing this particular instance of circumloquacious indulgence) and whom I hope finds this with a cup of coffee in hand.

If you’re still hanging in here and you’d like to take care of all of this in a good old fashioned phone call or by sharing a beer or maybe a white russian on my porch with our smartphones at ready, my number is 210-XXX-XXXX. I live in San Antonio.

One final aside, if it should turn out that the article is hosted somewhere I would like to recommend to your web developers that they make a change to supply a link to the article (which is no doubt smaller than a few hundred KB, a mere drop in the ocean of affordable storage options out there) perhaps by modifying the html file or html-file-generating-script tied to the http-error-404-handler generated by whichever hypertext transfer protocol serving technology your site may be using so that in the future it will look at the URL that led the user to your site and render a link to something useful. This would allow the prominence of the “Contact Us” link to be substantially reduced and hopefully placed in a location which corresponds to the fact that you shouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit.

Eagerly waiting your reply.

Davis Franklin


TV on the Radio

April 21, 2011

This song got me moving. Enjoy.


The World is a Scary World

April 13, 2011

Terrifying political ads pretty much speak for themselves. Scary music. Scary tone. Then an equally scary politician at the end. A population that will elect these people deserves permanent scary music theme music to follow them around everywhere they go.

I can almost sympathize with past generations who weren’t familiar with the psychological effect that music and video can have on people. It was a new media back then. But now… hopefully people are thinking and not just consuming.

I can’t embed flash in wordpress for some reason, but here’s a site with lots of old campaign ads.

It’s interesting to see what has changed and what has stayed the same.

So how about you just click that link there and watch some videos. Oh and… them’s some pretty votin’ fingers you got there. Would sure be a shame if anything happened to them.


Nude Erection

April 4, 2011

“In order for America to take a nude erection, it’s gonna take a new president.” – Tim Pawlenty

I would love to interview Mr. Pawlenty.

“Governer Pawlenty, in your recent ad campaign you said that you want to help America take a nude erection. Could you tell our viewers today how you feel when you take a nude erection and how that has prepared you to be president?”

“Well, America has to take a new direction. There’s just no way around it. Things are really scary and bad and you heard the background music in that commercial right? It was ominous and scary and I think that it was entirely appropriate to describe the wasteland that is American society. Bad things happen, and there’s nothing like a big fat new direction to cheer you up when things are going poorly.”


Reality Sort, Iteration 2: “Never Forget”

April 3, 2011

Photo courtesy of The Onion.


It’s ok that Chris Brown hit Rihanna because he’s really good at dancing

March 31, 2011

Like, really good. Nevermind that he freaked out beforehand and trashed a dressing room. From 1:10 on he approaches deity-level coolness. Did you see that flip kick!? He’s like a fit Michael Jackson but with domestic violence instead of child molestation. Hey it’s Chris Brown!!! *flails wildly* (That will be funny in a minute)

Video at the bottom after the jump

Remember where you came from. Also, keep in mind he’s lip syncing to autotune, which cancel out and make it real singing again.